11/3/2010 Noon. Watching the Favre Press Conference Live:
"I'm upset we're 2-5." Translation "I'm pretty ticked that the 3 Musketeers came and got me out of Mississippi this summer. I don't need this anymore."
"We're 1-3 since he [Randy] came in. It's not his fault, it's all of our faults." Translation "Thanks Brad, you're really making this comeback easy for me."
"The most talented teams aren't always the ones that win." Translation "GET ME SOME BETTER FREAKING PLAY CALLING!!"
"The rest of our cast... is fine." Translation: "I don't remember their names, especially that offensive line, maybe if I didn't get hit every time I dropped back, I would know who's in front of me. But fine is the best way I can put this. Fine."
"Haven't been told anything as to why we let go of Randy. Chilly never gave a reason for picking him up." Translation: "Everybody knows I run this team. What, no text, BRAD?? Your phone works fine in the offseason when you need me to come back, again, save your career!"
"I don't know if any other team has had as many live press conferences as we've had." Translation: "Wow, what have I gotten myself into?"
"How's your chin, foot, ankle, elbow, anything else we don't know about?" Gets sly grin on his face, Thinking, "All things considered, I am happy to be breathing. I haven't been laid since that whole Deadspin thing happened, thanks Jenn."
"Does everyone agree with Brad? No." Translation: "I need to be calling the plays. Let's get any kind of respectable coach in here, and we'd be undefeated ."
"I'm trying to stay optimistic...We'll just see what happens." Translation: "Now I know what it's like to be a Chicago Cubs fan. Sidney! Come back to me!!"
Best of luck Brett. The state of Minnesota is counting on you.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
State of the Vikings Address
With the Minnesota gubernatorial race still undecided, I am writing a State of the Vikings Address. Minneapolis is a Vikings town. Even though we have the best overall sports stadium in the country in Target Field, baseball has and always will take a backseat to your Minnesota Vikings. Baseball seems to function as something we do during the NFL offseason. This is a sad fact, but until the Twinks can prove their mettle in the postseason, our allegiances will always be with the purple.
The obsession with football is nation-wide. When the San Francisco Giants were off winning the World Series, Randy Moss was busy yelling at a caterer and getting kicked out of Minny. These two events received about the same amount of coverage on Sportscenter, PTI, Around the Horn, and ESPN.com.
So to review, The Giants brought home a world championship to San Francisco. For the first time. Ever. The Giants won titles in New York, but never in San Fran. Barry Bonds, with as big a head as he has and as small as his testicles have become, couldn't do it. It took The Freak (Tim Lincecum), The Freaky (Brian Wilson), and the wanna-be rodeo clown (Cody Ross) to bring one home. (Aside, apparently the Twins don't have enough personality to win championships, that's you Sideburns.) Not to mention, the World Series MVP played the thing with a torn tendon in his arm. This was a Fall Classic with some guts. Unfortunately, no one noticed.
This compulsion for football is also unfortunate for one Brad Childress. He has a team in shambles, floundering in one of the weakest divisions in all of sports. Rubes and analysts alike are wondering who actually has control of the Purple. And unfortunately for every Minnesota fan, He Who Mustached Not Be Named wants to be a tyrannical dictator, but Zygi and the Silver Fox have other ideas.
This power struggle leads to no internal leadership, and an abundance of mistrust in the organization. Fans don't trust the coach. Chilly barely trusts Brett, and is just itching for T-Jack to get in there. And now Zygi Wilf cannot trust Childress after he alone made the call to cut Moss after 3 games. 3 GAMES! It's ok, the Vikes didn't need that 3rd Rounder anyway. In all likelihood the Vikes would have traded it away to pick up a mediocre white running back from Stanford, a school that without John Elway, would not have a stake in the NFL.
It would be great to call the Randy Moss situation water under the bridge, but they gave up that pick, and
this situation has become a catalyst for an already tumultuous Vikings season. You need drama in the NFL? Look no further than Winter Park.
And we thought that losing Sidney Rice for the first half of the year would be our biggest problem. He's finally off the Physically Unable to Perform list. This is the first positive news bite that has happened to this team all year.
Amazing how far down a ship can crash a year removed from being one play shy of the Super Bowl.
The obsession with football is nation-wide. When the San Francisco Giants were off winning the World Series, Randy Moss was busy yelling at a caterer and getting kicked out of Minny. These two events received about the same amount of coverage on Sportscenter, PTI, Around the Horn, and ESPN.com.
So to review, The Giants brought home a world championship to San Francisco. For the first time. Ever. The Giants won titles in New York, but never in San Fran. Barry Bonds, with as big a head as he has and as small as his testicles have become, couldn't do it. It took The Freak (Tim Lincecum), The Freaky (Brian Wilson), and the wanna-be rodeo clown (Cody Ross) to bring one home. (Aside, apparently the Twins don't have enough personality to win championships, that's you Sideburns.) Not to mention, the World Series MVP played the thing with a torn tendon in his arm. This was a Fall Classic with some guts. Unfortunately, no one noticed.
This power struggle leads to no internal leadership, and an abundance of mistrust in the organization. Fans don't trust the coach. Chilly barely trusts Brett, and is just itching for T-Jack to get in there. And now Zygi Wilf cannot trust Childress after he alone made the call to cut Moss after 3 games. 3 GAMES! It's ok, the Vikes didn't need that 3rd Rounder anyway. In all likelihood the Vikes would have traded it away to pick up a mediocre white running back from Stanford, a school that without John Elway, would not have a stake in the NFL.
It would be great to call the Randy Moss situation water under the bridge, but they gave up that pick, and
this situation has become a catalyst for an already tumultuous Vikings season. You need drama in the NFL? Look no further than Winter Park.
And we thought that losing Sidney Rice for the first half of the year would be our biggest problem. He's finally off the Physically Unable to Perform list. This is the first positive news bite that has happened to this team all year.
Amazing how far down a ship can crash a year removed from being one play shy of the Super Bowl.
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